I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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