drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
