Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
