Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize