kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
