i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
