we have officially lost it.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
