based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
