nut hugger
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
