your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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