i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
