I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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