well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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