I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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