You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
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well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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