Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
