Just fell off a train. Bad.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
