there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
