this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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