when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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