wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
