Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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