I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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