I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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