It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
