i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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