MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
