Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
