look no pants
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
