On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
