I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
