if only i could text you this smell
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
