It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
