If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
