And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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