I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Everything about him screamed your future.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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