I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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