i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
