i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize