So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
