This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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