We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
