we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
