i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
