Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
