I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
