She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
