About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
