Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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