Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
