the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
