it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
