haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
