Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
