yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I die, sorry about rent.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
