so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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