it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
