I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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