Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
