I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize