I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
